It's time, let's do this! This moment has been building for a month, and I GET to do this. Today, Andy and I headed to Mayo early in the morning for further testing and scans. My family will be bringing the girls down to Rochester in the afternoon and we will all staying in a hotel near St. Mary's. We will spend the evening with them doing one of their favorite things, staying in a hotel and swimming in the pool. I will be soaking up as much time with all of them before surgery tomorrow. It is difficult to know what to think and feel going into such a serious operation. I do have so much hope that my outcome will be positive! But... there are times when I feel hope wavering. The natural human reaction is to always prepare for the worse. I have had a tough week with lots of worries and emotions; it is a strange thing... preparation for this journey. I just can't help but think negative thoughts sometimes. I hug people as though I won't hug them again, and go through all the motions as I grasp this reality.
TIME OF REFLECTION
It has been a time of reflection, providing me with a renewed perspective. I have always found peace in the rise and set of the sun and what each new day brings, sounds of the birds, sway of the trees and the breeze on my face. I am especially soaking in all these sights, sounds and feelings now. I'm gaining strength in notes from family/friends, and acts of kindness from people (Iyla's swim season paid for, thank you!). It is the joy, laughter and simplicity in small things that make this life good. It is the gift of life itself that is most meaningful, not the things that come with it. Never would I press my own faith on someone else, as everyone has their own right to faith. However, God is present in mine. Present through the birth of my children, when provided the power to save my moms life, gifting me people and meaningful places I enjoy visiting. Life. I have felt the presence in the last month, through all of your prayers.
Last night we were gifted with these family photos, which we cherish. The magical moments and spirit of our family were captured in such a beautiful way (Shea Jurgensen). She has shared her beautiful gift with us, and given us a gift we can look back to during this time of trial. My babies, so much love. My mom also just gifted me the rings from my heavily grandmother's, they are going to be a part of my angel tribe. I feel their presence too.
HOPE
If you are reading this blog, you have made an impact on my life. For you, I will push myself in ways I never knew how, and I will discover strength I didn't know I had. For now, we/I have hope and pray for the outcome, for a speedy recovery, for no risks to impact my life, for the gift of doctors who will save my life, for more strength and balance than I have now, to have the life I know back - every bit of it We aren't promised tomorrow, but I have been promised another chance - and that I am so grateful for. When you are given another chance at life, it creates a whole new perspective! I keep telling myself that my hope and faith is so much stronger than my fear! "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul. Firm and secure. ~Hebrews 6:19." Couldn't have said it better.
I will be in the ICU for 1-2 days, and Andy will stay in Rochester (at the hotel). I will have a hospital stay less than a week.
Family will be in and out throughout the week. I can't wait to see the faces of my smiling girls! I am so lucky to have Andy as my parter in life, and to take this journey together. The blog will be updated by family, to keep you posted on progress.
All my love. Rachel
Sending all our love, hugs and prayers your way my dear!!!!!!! YOU WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteYou will be in our prayers, Rachel, along with prayers for Andy and the girls. Love & hugs to all of you!
ReplyDeleteSending love and prayers to you and your beautiful family!!
ReplyDeleteThe Stulz Family
Continued prayers for you all. Katie said it perfectly....you will indeed be victorious!
ReplyDeleteI have so much hope and love for YOU and your family. Your positivity is going to be your sword of strength Rachel - I have watched your smile light up the lives of your students for too many years to imagine that can ever be extinguished in the midst of our most frightening crises. God be with you and prayers are constant!
ReplyDeleteYou are a true warrior in every sense of the word. Speedy recovery Rachel, my prayers, thoughts, and love are with you.
ReplyDeleteCheryl